Tag Archives: Domestic Violence Signs

Abusive Relationships: Leave and Re-live!

Everyone, at least once in their lives, have experienced getting into a relationship. When you are in a healthy relationship, both individuals support each other, sharing the good times and helping or supporting each other through the tough times. When someone matters deeply to you, and those feelings of trust and respect are returned, it enables us to face the world with confidence. Building and maintaining a healthy relationship needs commitment from both sides to make their partnership work. But it is truly worth all the effort because when you are in a good relationship, you feel good about your boyfriend or girlfriend, and you also feel good about yourself.

Not all relationships work that way no matter how much we might want them to. When there is violence, the relationship can become really destructive which can make it both physically and emotionally dangerous. Abuse can be physical, emotional, or sexual. Slapping, hitting, and kicking are forms of physical abuse that can occur in both romances and friendships. Emotional abuse, like teasing, bullying, and humiliating others can be difficult to recognize because it doesn’t leave any visible scars. Threats, intimidation, putdowns, and betrayal are all harmful forms of emotional abuse that can really hurt not just during the time it’s happening, but long after too. Sometimes, abusive relationships are easy to identify because some of the abuse may be very subtle. In general, abusive relationships have a serious power imbalance, with the abuser controlling or attempting to control most aspects of life.

While appearing to be powerful, abusive individuals are often very dependent upon their partners for their sense of self-esteem. Sometimes they expect their partners to take care of day to day tasks which most adults handle for themselves. Abusive partners often feel powerless in the larger world. The relationship may be the only place where they feel a sense of power. Attacking their partner’s abilities or sense of self-worth is one way that abusive individuals maintain a sense of power, esteem, and control. At a deep emotional level, abusers often feels that they are not good enough and fear abandonment. By keeping their partners in a fearful or dependent state, they attempt to ensure that their partners will not leave them.

However, there are positive steps for coping with an abusive relationship such as:

Maintaining outside relationships and avoiding isolation.

Seeking “reality checks” by talking to others if you suspect that your partner has been abusive.

Learning about resources available to people in abusive relationships.

Identifying a “safe place” you can go to in an emergency if your partner becomes threatening or violent.

Reading self-help books about healthy and unhealthy relationships.

Seeking professional counseling or talking to someone you trust to help you sort through the issues that may be keeping you in an abusive relationship.

Begin to develop a support system, so that if you choose to leave the relationship, you will not be alone.

Remember, abuse has no place in love. If a person made you feel inadequate, useless and fearful then it already may be the time to escape the abusive relationship. Studies show that people with healthy relationships really do have more happiness and less stress than those in an abusive relationship. One should know that abuse and violence is not acceptable in any kind of relationship, if you know from your heart of hearts that you have to get out of the abusive relationship, seek help and leave the relationship and re-live your life!

Saudi Arabia releases video on National TV teaching husbands how to beat their wives

Saudi Arabia releases video on National TV teaching husbands how to beat their wives

May 10, 2016

AWD News.coM

The national television of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia has aired a video, in which a self-styled Islamic family doctor is seen teaching men in the country how to ‘properly’ beat their wives.

The video is believed to have been aired in the country in early February, 2016. The Kingdom’s government is said to have approved the video, and that is why it was given airtime on national television.

After airing the video in Saudi Arabia, the Saudi government released the controversial video in the United States via the Washington DC-based Middle East Media Research Institute, in April 2016. Women activists group describe the video as nothing less than infuriating.

The content of the video features the doctor who is said to specialize in therapy; Khaled Al-Saqaby teaching men how to ‘properly’ beat their wives if their [wives] disobey them.

According to Al-Saqaby, husbands should not immediately attack their wives, but should discipline them ‘properly’ first. He then makes it clear that in marriage, there is nothing like equality, and that men should take charged and rule the home.

In an event where women disobey their husbands, Al-Saqaby teaches in the video that the men should follow the steps below in making sure that the women are corrected.

“The first step is to remind her of your rights and of her duties according to Allah. Then comes the second step – forsaking her in bed.

The third step, beating, has to correspond with the necessary Islamic conditions” before taking action. The beating should not be performed with a rod, nor should it be a headband, or a sharp object.

Instead, husbands should use a ‘tooth-cleaning twig or with a handkerchief’ to beat their wife. The wife will feel that she was wrong in the way she treated her husband,” says Al-Saqaby.

Ending his controversial teaching, Al-Saqaby says his teaching of how to beat wives is not exhaustive, and that sometimes, men can beat their wives without following his steps when the women go to the extreme by disobeying their husbands.

He also blamed the women for provoking their husbands, expressing shock that some women are ‘stubborn’ to the point that only beatings can bring them to order.

“In addition, sometimes a woman makes a mistake that may lead her husband to beat her. I’m sad to say there are some women who say ‘Go ahead, if you are a real man, beat me’ She provokes them,” he adds in the video.

Critics of the video say, although some of the teachings Al-Saqaby espoused in the video concerning how husbands should treat their wives are found in the Holy Quran, they were used in a context.

They accuse Al-Saqaby and the Saudi government of being selective with the verses of the Holy Book in order to satisfy their own interest.

The author Matt Agorist of the Free Thought Project has chronicled some verses from the Quran and Hadith to highlight how a religious text can be used to incite peace or violence; that Islam prohibits or promotes men beating their wives.

The Hadith is the record of the sayings and conduct of the Islamic Prophet, Muhammad during his lifetime. The record was recorded by his disciples and those known to be close to him.

According to Mr Agorist, Al-Saqaby teaching on the subject should not be taken serious because it is full of his own interpretations, in order to serve the interest of the ruling class of the country.

Some women groups have also called for the United States government to condemn the video, as it denigrates womanhood. But neither the State Department, which is responsible for international relations for the country, nor any government official from the White House, has commented on the controversial video.

This is not the first time the United States has turned a blind eye on happenings in Saudi Arabia. Early this year, Saudi Arabia embarked on an exercise of beheading people who speak against the dictatorial policies of the country’s ruling class. 47 people, including a prominent Shia cleric Sheikh Nimr Bakir al-Nimr, were beheaded on January 1st, 2016, for embarking on anti-government activities.

This sparked huge tension in the Islamic World. The United States never commented, or issued a statement, on the beheadings.

SOURCE

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